I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
