he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
