fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
