Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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