(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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