We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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