I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize