Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
