you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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