You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
