I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
