dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My life is pants optional.
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