We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
