we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
