There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
