How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
