so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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