Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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