so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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