apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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