She said her name was "party"
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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