did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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