I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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