If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize