I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
