oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
