Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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