champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
