to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize