Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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