Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
