Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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