His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
