Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
