i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
