I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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