The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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