but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
