dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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