the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
