physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Farmville is her only friend.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize