That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
