theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
