she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
