I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
