My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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