I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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