My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize