i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
well most of my day revolves around power hour
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
