please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
