Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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