I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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