i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize