I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
