I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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