I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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