If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
