I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
