the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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