It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
