You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i need an iv and a liver transplant
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
