life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
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she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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