he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I have demons in me.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
