some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
