We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
