i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
